| Even as children most of us dream about what our | | | | same religion. Consider how you would feel if your |
| life partner will be like. Some of focus on the | | | | partner has a different religion and wants to raise the |
| appearance of our mate and others focus more on | | | | children with those beliefs. |
| the personality of that special person. The truth is | | | | You most likely have some plans for your future. I |
| that almost everyone of us will feel that we are in | | | | think we all do. The point in this step is so that you |
| love at some point in our lifetime. Being in love does | | | | become clearer on your goals and you can more |
| not guarantee our happiness, but being in love with a | | | | easily determine how important they are to you. |
| compatible person might. That is why there are a | | | | Step three is reviewing your lists from step one and |
| few steps to take before pursuing a relationship in | | | | two in order to determine if you are willing to |
| order to ensure that it will be a great one. | | | | compromise on any of those issues. An example |
| The steps are easy but they can be time-consuming. | | | | might be if you meet your partner and he or she |
| The reason is that you should give careful | | | | feels that their goals are more beneficial to the |
| consideration to each step. Okay, please see the list | | | | relationship so you are asked to assist in helping them |
| below: | | | | reach their goals while yours are put on hold or |
| 1) Get to know yourself | | | | forgotten. |
| 2) Consider your dreams, goals and plans | | | | Raising children often results in disagreements |
| 3) Decide what, if anything, you are willing to | | | | between the parents. One may have a more liberal |
| compromise on | | | | style of parenting while the other is very strict and |
| 4) If children are in your plans determine a parenting | | | | authoritative. Consider how that could be handled. |
| style you are comfortable with | | | | Ideally this is something that would be discussed early |
| 5) Consider your budgeting style, are you a spender | | | | in a relationship in order to avoid disputes later. |
| or a saver | | | | And the last step I have listed is determining your |
| When I listed 'get to know yourself' as step one I | | | | budgeting style. Some of us are spenders and some |
| thought many people might misunderstand. You see, | | | | of us are savers. Arguments over money are |
| this is really the most time-consuming step for most | | | | common in relationships. Sometimes having a spender |
| people. In order to know yourself you will need to | | | | and a saver in the couple is the ideal mix. They tend |
| carefully analyze what is important to you. After | | | | to smooth the edges of one another. But if you |
| completing this step you will be able to tell anyone | | | | have been on your own for awhile it may be hard to |
| your basic thoughts about the fundamentals of life. | | | | switch styles. Decide how you would handle such a |
| I suggest that you begin with your values, faith, and | | | | situation if your partner wanted money matters |
| ethics. I always find it helpful to make lists on paper | | | | handled differently than you do. |
| (or a computer screen) so I can look over it. But if | | | | By assessing yourself before you even begin a |
| you prefer making the list in your head that is fine. | | | | relationship you will be better equipped to make an |
| The purpose of defining these things for yourself is | | | | intelligent decision about the viability of the |
| so that you can decide just how important they are | | | | partnership. Some relationships may be better left as |
| to you. For instance, if you are a very religious | | | | a friendship than to be pursued as a lifetime |
| person you may plan to raise your children with that | | | | partnership. |