| Do you feel like your career has moved to a quiet | | | | You cannot do justice to all of your projects if you |
| sidetrack rather than the mainline since you've had | | | | take too much on. You may want to help your |
| children? Feel you are working full-time hours on a | | | | colleagues, do an extra piece of work for your boss, |
| part-time contract and salary? You are not alone. | | | | join the PTA, do some fundraising for charity, ferry |
| Many mothers I coach struggle to get employers to | | | | your kids to lots of after-school activities, but until |
| take them seriously after a career break. And with | | | | someone invents the 30-hour-day you have to pace |
| the recession still very much uppermost in people's | | | | yourself. Decide what really matters to you, where |
| minds, employers are less willing to accept | | | | your priorities lie, what you could not possibly be |
| family-friendly working policies, while mothers (and a | | | | without.... And say goodbye to everything else. Do |
| few fathers too) are afraid to ask for more flexible | | | | not let yourself be distracted with trivial matters and |
| hours in case that denotes a lack of commitment. | | | | do not confuse urgency with importance. For each |
| So what can we mothers do to show that we are | | | | activity that crops up uninvited, ask yourself: 'Does |
| still committed to the organisation? How can we | | | | this fit in with my goals and priorities?' If it doesn't, |
| thrive within the game of corporate culture without | | | | why do it? |
| losing our own identity, or having to give our children | | | | Often, the answer is that we do it because we hate |
| up for adoption? Here are the top 3 tips I have | | | | to disappoint anyone, and because we want to be |
| gathered over the years, with more to follow in the | | | | liked. Guess what? My boss still talks to me even |
| next article. These first set of tips are all about | | | | though I didn't volunteer to take minutes at every |
| self-awareness and playing to your strengths. | | | | meeting. And I think the charity I am working with |
| 1. Let go of perfection. | | | | would rather see me on a 'whenever I can' basis, |
| This is probably the hardest one of all for women to | | | | rather than not being able to count on me to keep |
| accept: we cannot be everything to everybody all of | | | | my promises. |
| the time, not even to our children. Learn to live with | | | | 3. Take on high-profile projects. |
| incomplete projects, good intentions and sheer | | | | This sounds like a direct contradiction to No. 2, but it |
| muddling through. You are never again going to be | | | | is in fact about choosing wisely. Women will typically |
| the perfect employee, mother, wife and | | | | accept any project allocated to them at work, while |
| housekeeper - or at least never more than one or | | | | men choose the ones with the most prestige and |
| two of these at the same time. But ask yourself | | | | visibility. Don't waste your time doing other people's |
| honestly: were you really all of these things, even | | | | work for them - volunteer for the projects that will |
| singly? No, there is always room for 'even more | | | | directly benefit you, improve your skills and give you |
| perfect', so don't even go down that route. 'Good | | | | lots of networking opportunities. You may not always |
| enough most days' is what we should aspire to | | | | be able to choose: sometimes it's all hands on deck. |
| instead. Having an 'all or nothing' mentality, feeling that | | | | Make sure in that case that everyone is aware of |
| you have to be perfect otherwise you are rubbish, is | | | | your contribution to the success of the project. You |
| more suited to a six year old (just ask my son and all | | | | can be subtle about trumpeting your successes, but |
| of his classmates!). | | | | not too subtle or someone else will take the credit. |
| 2. Learn to say no. | | | | |